November 14, 2016

“Make a new blog and then ignore it for two months” seems to be just about par for the course lately.

Truth be told there are a lot of things I thought of writing about, but I either didn’t want to or couldn’t sit down and write and the whole thing just sort of collapsed from there.

Life is good right now I think. I started taking beta blockers for a tremor in my hands and jaw, and though they don’t do much for the tremor, they have completely changed my life in terms of anxiety. My PCP showed me my heart rate measurements for the last few visits, and it was something like 86-88-85. At this last visit, after a few days on beta blockers, it was a far-more-normal 66. The anxious thoughts aren’t gone by any stretch, but because the “fight or flight” response is blocked, I don’t feel myself spiraling out of control wondering what’s going to go wrong. It makes me a bit sleepy and apparently I talk in my sleep a lot more, but otherwise it’s proven to be a really significant and positive change in my daily life.

Amelia is doing well, growing and changing constantly. We still struggle with her stranger anxiety, which has always been there but seems to get worse as she gets older. It’s hard for her grandparents that when they see her for a few days she never manages to warm up to them. We’ve spoken to her pediatrician, Early Intervention and a developmental pediatrician, and they all pretty much say the same thing: this is her temperament. It’s difficult to explain that to others when she doesn’t act like other kids, but we’re trying our best to challenge her and push her boundaries while still honoring who she is and making her feel validated and secure. Parenting, it’s never boring.

In terms of Vermont adventures, we took Amelia into the wilds of Forest Service land to pick apples. I’m talking like, struggling through tall grass and sticks. Amelia had a blast. She loves climbing around in the woods at our house so it didn’t surprise me that she took to it so easily.

It’s interesting to me how parents visualize what constitutes “the perfect childhood” for their kids. Having grown up in the woods myself, it’s very important to me that she is comfortable outside and enjoys exploring on her own.  At the same time, we enjoy our TV and iPad wind-down time, so she gets some of that too. I am constantly worried that I’m not balancing it well enough.

In a nutshell that’s life over here right now.

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